随波逐流 Just Go With It
I'm so happy you picked this dress, Veruca!
- You look beautiful. - Doesn't she?
- 你好美啊 - 绝对的!
You guys, I'm getting married!
I'm getting married!
Not without your veil, you're not.
Where is that bad boy?
Oh, I think I left it upstairs.
Don't worry. I'll get it,
She is so annoying.
And so ugly.
She looks like Karl Malden.
I know, and she's gonna be
my sister-in-law in an hour!
How are you gonna deal with that?
I'm just gonna lay down the law for Danny.
We're seeing his goofy family as little as possible.
You sure he's gonna go along with that?
Danny doesn't say no to me.
Believe me, I have him well-trained.
So, tell us, what happened with Eric last night?
So, I told him if he wanted to stop the wedding,
he had to speak now or forever hold his peace.
And what'd he say?
He said he's never gonna settle down,
and I should just go ahead and marry Danny.
Did he give you a wedding present, huh?
- You're so horny! - Yeah.
- 你好色啊! - 是啊
I guess you could call it that.
You're so bad!
It's the last time, I swear.
Danny is so sweet and considerate.
And he's gonna be a cardiologist.
So, I'm marrying him
and that zucchini in the middle of his face.
His parents are disgusting, too!
Close your eyes when he's on top!
And your thighs!
Cuz, I'm so sorry.
Yikes, that hurt.
That was me, Danny Maccabee, 20 years ago.
那就是我 20年前的Danny Maccabee
So, I'm halfway done boozing away my sorrows,
when something pretty interesting happened.
Oh, baby, you're like a Pop Tart,
噢 宝贝 你就像块小烘饼
hot and sweet!
You must play the trumpet or something,
'cause you're making me feel all horny and stuff!
You dropped your purse.
Can I just sit for 10 seconds
and not get hit on? Thank you.
I was just letting you know you dropped your purse.
- I'm sorry. I thought... - That's fine, that's fine.
抱歉 我以为... - 没事 没事
I'm sure you didn't meet the lady who gave you that ring
in a meat market like this.
How long you been married?
I was gonna tell her, I really was.
But I didn't want her to know what a loser I was,
so I stretched the truth a little.
Where's your wife tonight?
I stopped asking that question a long time ago.
My wife says I work too much.
Trying to provide for her, her shopping addiction,
Why don't you just leave her?
All 14 of them.
I just, I like to adopt,
and I don't wanna stop doing that.
You poor guy.
You wanna get outta here?
And so I discovered
the power of the wedding ring.
The symbol of my humiliation
had become a tool to get back on the horse.
Are you kidding me? Snuffleupagus!
I switched my specialty from cardiology to plastic surgery,
got rid of the big honker,
and the ring became my thing.
I just assumed after we got married she'd stop hooking, but...
我以为结婚后 她不会再去勾搭别人 但是...
You need to put this wedding ring on a true heart.
This is a good moment.
Yeah. Should we go make it last,
for a while, somewhere?
Okay, let's go. To your dorm.
好啊 走吧 去你宿舍
Sometimes I think about
throwing the ring into the ocean.
I know how wrong it is... but I can't...
It's my Precious.
Besides, being fake married
is the perfect way to make sure
I never get my heart broken again.
What are these?
The women, they stick them in their flat chesties,
make them big.
These are not the boobie bags that I ordered.
What is that?
It's like a syrup dispenser at an IHOP.
I don't know what that is.
Come on. These, they don't feel like these.
拜托 这个 跟这个手感完全不同啊
I just trying to learn.
Listen, Dr. Maccabee would never accept subpar boobs.
Would you please just get me what I ordered
and tell Omar that I would like a discount for the inconvenience?
还有告诉Omar 出了这种麻烦事 他要给我打折
- Yes, ma'am. - Thank you, Simon.
好的 女士 - 谢谢了 Simon
- My 4:00 here? - Yeah.
我4点有预约? - 是
Room one, Kirsten Brant. Don't laugh.
1号房 Kirsten Brant 记得不许笑
Well, I, uh... I had bad plastic surgery.
我 呃... 我整形手术失败了
Should've known this doctor was a quack.
His office was in, like, a warehouse.
I see, I see.
No, no. Just, please help me, Doctor.
没 没了 就请你帮帮我 医生
Absolutely. It's usually easier
当然当然 通常来说 这种手术
to do these things right the first time, but...
What? You seem dubious.
Oh, no, not at all.
噢 没 没什么
I mean, I hear you're the best, Dr. Maccabee.
我是说 我听说您是最棒的 Maccabee医生
I don't know about that,
but I think we can figure something out here.
- That's relaxed? - Hmm.
这样是放松了的? - 嗯
Here, let me just pull it down for a sec.
And I let go. Okay, shoots right back up there.
然后松手 好的 马上就弹回去了
- I'm sorry. - Oh. Sorry about what?
对不起 - 噢 对不起什么?
Oh, my God! it's just...
噢 天啊! 实在是...
That just really went right up there.
That was high. You gotta watch that.
It's gonna get caught in your hair.
I don't know, maybe I should just keep it like this.
It seems to make other people happy.
No. But, seriously, are you available for my kid's birthday party?
不是 不过 说真的 你可以来我家小孩的生日晚会吗?
- That's too much. - I'm sorry!
- 太过了 - 抱歉!
Let me give you a hug.
That's what you need first. We'll fix this.
Oh, God! Okay, I gotta...
噢 天啊! 好了 我要...
I'm gonna excuse myself. I'm sorry.
- Eddie's here. - Hey. My cousin.
Eddie来了 - 嘿 这是我表哥
Oh, my gosh.
Brows gone wild over here.
I'm actually digging it.
And what are you doing later?
- Oh, sorry, I'm kind of seeing anybody else. - There you go.
噢 抱歉 我等下有约了 - 行了
Look, I don't know who you're seeing,
but whoever they are,
they don't have what this guy's got down there, you know what I mean?
All right, Eddie.
Yeah, it's a very good one. I should know, I installed it.
嗯 我证明他那儿是挺棒的 毕竟是我亲手装的
Oh, you had a penile enlargement?
People really do that? That is hilarious!
See you on the 28th, Dr. Maccabee!
Dude, why are you telling everybody about my surgery?
Am I hiding the secrets around here?
You don't think Katherine knows about this?
Katherine was in the room when I did that.
She held the magnifying glass.
I did. And the tweezer.
Did you get a chance to try it out yet?
Uh, yeah. I've banged it up.
呃 当然 已经试过了
It's got a couple dents. I'm not gonna lie.
Yeah. You did?
Not from a human.
It's got... from this doll I made.
Hey, Adon. Yo, yo.
嘿 Adon 好啊
Danny! I am so happy you could be here!
How are You, baby? - Did You bring any Botox?
最近怎样 宝贝? - 你有带肉毒杆菌来吗?
I didn't bring the Botox. I brought my cousin, Eddie.
Nice to meet you, Eddie.
Is this a Halloween party?
Are you kidding me right now?
You got a little more work done, huh?
Yeah, just a little bit, just tweaking, tweaking.
恩 只有一点点 小调整 小调整
I just wanna stay in the game, Danny.
I don't wanna hit home runs, just some singles. That's all.
You gotta stop, though, I'm telling you.
Do you have any feeling in your face?
Just in this one spot right here.
And then from the eyebrows down, dead, dead.
眉毛以下 完全无感 没感觉
Is that a car alarm?
- He's laughing, he's laughing. - Oh, okay.
他的笑声 他在笑 - 噢 好吧
I wanted to go to your cousin Danny here,
but he refused to do any work.
He didn't wanna put his fingers in the pie. Ooh!
It was getting dangerous. This amount...
You gotta slow it down.
Okay, see? That shouldn't be happening right now.
好了 看到了吧? 本来不该会这样的
Adon! Adon, Adon, Adon!
Adon 你人呢! Adon, Adon, Adon!
Ariel out open his knee. It looks awful.
What happened? Settle, settle.
怎么了? 冷静 冷静
What do you expect me to do about it?
- It's bleeding. - You know what? I could stitch him up.
流血了啊 - 是吗? 也许我可以帮他缝两针
- Why don't you go get me my bag? - All right.
你去帮我拿包来吧? - 好的
So, you fell down the stairs, huh?
Did you trip over something?
Was there a skateboard there, or...
No, I was distracted by something.
不是 我因为别的 分心了
What distracted you?
A girl, okay. Was it your mother?
一个女生 好吧 是你妈妈吗?
'Cause she just looks good.
That's your stepmom. I can talk like that.
All right. This is lidocaine. Don't think about it.
好的 这是局部麻醉剂 别想着它
Don't think about it. Think about your face.
Blonde, brunette, redhead?
金发 黑发 还是红发?
Blonde, tan, tall, rocking body.
金发 小麦色 高挑 性感身姿
Want me to numb something else for you?
You're getting a little nutty over there.
No! No, I'm good. I'm good.
不! 不用 我挺好 挺好的
I'm alive! I'm alive, everybody!
我还活着! 我还活着 大伙!
Good job, Doctor. That was really nice.
干得好 医生 真的挺棒的
The distraction, I'm guessing.
The boy was distracted. That's why he fell.
So, I'm taking the rap for this.
Yes. Your hotness basically pushed him down the stairs.
Good luck proving that in court, Wisengruber.
Wisengruber? Is that what they're saying
on the Gossip Girl nowadays?
I knew you two would eventually find each other!
But be careful, Palmer, these plastic surgeons,
但是小心了 Palmer 整形外科医生
they really know how to operate.
Yeah, all right, Adon. All right.
噢 好了 Adon 好了
I just don't know about plastic surgery.
I mean, doesn't it always look so fake?
Depends who's doing it. I'm pretty good at it. I'm telling you.
Some of My patients are here tonight. - Oh, really?
今晚在场的就有几位是我的病人 - 噢 真的吗?
Really, really. Look around,
真的 真的 随意瞧瞧
see if you can find someone decent-looking.
How 'bout her?
The lady from Saw?
Fine. Who did you do?
All right. I hate to rat the guy out,
but see that guy over there?
You mean Sexy Ass?
Before I met him, he was No Buns Bobby.
His back went straight to His legs. - No kidding.
背垂直连着大腿 - 真的假的
He'd go to the bathroom,
he'd slide right in the toilet.
I know, I know, that's really romantic, isn't it?
是吧 听起来很不可思议 对吧?
So, North Carolina, how long have you lived here in LA?
I've been here almost two years.
Uh-huh. That's a lot of auditioning for you.
You think I'm an actress?
I guarantee you're an actress.
Well, guess again, Doc. I teach sixth grade math.
好吧 重来一次 医生 我教6年级的数学
So what's wrong? They got no schools in North Carolina to teach at?
My parents divorced.
Had a pretty nasty one, actually,
when I was in the eighth grade. - Mmm-hmm.
当时闹得确实很难堪 - 嗯
And... I don't know. I got tired of picking sides, so...
然后... 我不知道 只是厌倦了选边站 所以...
Okay. I thought I'd make a change and, yeah, move out to LA.
嗯 我想改变点什么 然后就 嗯 来了洛杉矶
You came to the right place. No one gets divorced in LA.
I've never hung out with a girl your age. This is nice.
Oh, no. Your first lie to me.
哦 别 你开始撒谎了
You're good. All right.
I've never hung out with a girl your age and
connected the way we are right now.
Actually, I've never connected with,
I don't think any girl at any age.
See? I can tell when you're lying
- and when you're telling the truth. - Oh.
还是真话 - 噢
Yeah. The second thing I said was the truth.
Oh, my God. That was the greatest night of my life.
哦 我的天 这是我人生中最棒的夜晚
Yeah. This feels like it could be...
I don't know, a real thing.
It's a thing all right, Palmer.
Well, I have to get to work,
but how 'bout I take your number
and then you can take me out on a proper date next time?
I got a business card in my pocket if you wanna get that.
You better call.
You better not just, just leave me hanging.
I'd get it for you myself,
but I don't want you to see me naked in the daylight.
It could be a deal breaker.
A wedding ring? You're married?
No, no, no, I'm not, I'm not married.
不不不 我没有 我没有结婚
That is a... That is... That's not mine.
那个... 那... 那不是我的
Whose wedding ring is in your pants, Danny?
All right, listen, just give me a minute to explain this.
好吧 听着 给我一分钟让我解释
It's gonna take more than a minute.
I am such an idiot!
No, no, no, no, no.
Don't call me!
I told you that this whole fake marriage thing
was just gonna come and bite you in the ass.
Why don't you just tell her the truth?
You think I can tell her the truth?
Let me practice. You be her right now.
Oh, good. Okay, hold on.
哦 好 好吧 等一下
Okay. She's not like that, but anyways.
好吧 她没这样 不过没关系
Um, I wear this fake wedding ring sometimes...
You're a pig.
Sorry. You're a pig.
What's wrong? You're walking really weird.
My back. I slept on the beach last night.
When are you gonna strengthen your spine?
You gotta work out more than once a month.
I can't, I don't have time to work out.
You do. You can't say that, Danny.
你有的 别找借口 Danny
My mother always said Cary Grant never went to the gym.
Only took the stairs, every day, never an elevator.
- You wanna hear my impression of Cary Grant's butler? - Nuh... uh.
想不想听我对Cary Grant管家的印象? - 呃...
Watch. - What?
看着 - 看什么?
Hello? No, he's dead.
喂? 不 他死了
That's good. That's funny.
Mom, give me some money.
Hi. How are you?
Nice to see you, kids.
Please be polite and say hello to Dr. Maccabee.
'Ello, Dr. Danny.
'Ow is you today?
Is that my associate, Dr. Doolittle?
Why is she talking like that?
She's been working on some accents.
I am takin' an acting class this summer, I is.
Gonna be the next Miley Cyrus, I am.
How 'bout you, young man? Do you like Hannah Montana?
你怎么样 年轻人? 你也喜欢"汉娜孟塔娜"吗?
No. I like Californication.
When do you ever watch Californication?
Rosa lets us watch Showtime when she calls her boyfriend.
Eat the mushroom! Eat the mushroom! Yes!
快吃蘑菇! 快吃蘑菇! 好!
Mmm. You run a tight ship at home, huh?
Will you take me to Hawaii so I can swim with the dolphins?
Take you to Hawaii? No.
I saw a show on the Discovery Channel.
They say in Hawaii they have dolphins
that you can swim with if you pay money.
But I don't have any money. And my mom says you're rich.
- Michael! - No, it's fine.
- Michael! - 不 没关系
Maybe you should make your own money.
Maybe a paper route or something like that?
'Cause rich people don't give other people trips.
That's why they remain rich. You understand?
But my mom says you do charity for kids all the time.
I do charity work like I fix a cleft lip or a child's deformity.
I don't take them to Hawaii. I could get arrested for that.
What if I was deformed? Then would you take me to Hawaii?
If you were deformed, I'd bring you to Hawaii,
but I'd leave you there, 'cause I wouldn't want to look at you.
Okay. Here's the money, and I want change.
好啦 这是你们要的钱 记得把找零还给我
And I wanna hear back
that you actually ate the food that I am paying for.
Mom, before we go, can I make a Devlin?
Sure. Down the hall. Will you please go with him?
当然 大厅那头 你可以和他一起去吗?
We open in five minutes and I am not having him sit there forever.
Bloody hell right, I will, Mumsy!
All right, Winston Churchill.
He said, "I gotta make a Devlin."
What does That mean? - Uh...
这是什么意思呢? - 呃...
It's just a friend of mine who was in my sorority in college
named Devlin Adams, and...
她叫Devlin Adams 嗯...
Well, I wouldn't say friend. I'd say more my nemesis.
好吧 比起朋友 她更像是我的对手
Oh, so she was a frenemy? - Yes.
所以说她是你的死对头? - 没错
You'd probably like her. She's really, really fake.
估计你会很感兴趣 她真的 很虚伪
Always had to have the coolest clothes
and the hottest boys and, you know...
she bothers you. - a lot.
她让你不爽 - 非常不爽
So, one night, I was just having a glass of wine.
所以 一天晚上 我正在喝一杯酒
a bottle. - a bottle.
一瓶 - 好吧 一瓶
And I just got so tired of the kids saying things like,
l gotta take a crap.
l gotta take a dump.
So, I told them that it was called "making a Devlin,"
and they liked it.
And it stuck.
I always call it making a black pickle.
- Making a what? - I don't say that.
拉什么? - 我不想说
Out loud? - to others. No.
因为在外面? - 嗯 不对旁人说
What are we gonna do about my love life, though?
Oh, Danny, I would feel terrible for you if I had any,
哦 Danny 如果我玩弄23岁少女心
even the slightest, investment in you
successfully banging 23-year-olds.
Holy Devlin, you're not listening to me.
This is like not some bull-Devlin fling.
I mean, I'm serious.
This is the real Devlin. I could...
I swear to God, I could see myself ending up with this girl.
You're right. You can't tell her the truth.
Oh, God. Sorry.
哦 上帝 抱歉
I'm glad someone's doing good.
You know what? You don't wanna get serious,
'cause when you get serious, that leads to marriage,
and then marriage leads to divorce, and divorce is just...
I mean, look at these poor kids.
You know, their dad was supposed to pick them up today.
He was a No-show? - Again.
他又放鸽子? - 别提了
But you know what?
At least I got my head together and I divorced him.
Wait a minute.
You go ahead without me.
Oh, no, no, no.
Palmer, Palmer, Palmer, Palmer, Palmer.
Palmer Palmer 嘿 嘿 Palmer
I told you I didn't want to see you.
I just want to explain something to you.
Let me explain something to you.
I do not date married men.
My father cheated on my mom when I was young.
I am not going to be the other woman!
All right, take it easy, Damien, all right?
好吧 放松点 Damien 好吗?
Okay, his name is Silas, leave him out of this.
好吧 他叫Silas 别把他掺和进来
I'll kill you.
Listen! I am married.
But it is a horrible marriage.
She doesn't even talk to me anymore.
Danny, that's what all married men say.
If it's so bad, why don't you get divorced?
- You are? - Yes! It's over.
你离了? - 没错!已经结束了
Oh, my God, I can't believe this.
哦 我的天 我不敢相信
I destroyed a marriage!
I really feel like I'm gonna be sick. I can't...
No, no, it wasn't 'cause of you!
I filed along, long time ago.
We're gonna sign the papers in a couple of days
and it's like, she's dead to me.
What's her name?
You mean her first name? Her first name is Devlin.
Her name's Devlin?
Isn't that a shitty name? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
是不是很难听? 对 对 对
But Devlin and I are splitting up, fortunately,
'cause I caught her cheating on me with another guy.
I didn't catch her.
The television show Cheaters caught her and the guy.
And I told them not to air it, though,
because it's too painful.
They actually burned the tape so you can't see it.
But I would love you to.
There's another man?
There's another guy, yes. Dolph.
Dolph Lundgren. Yeah.
他叫Dolph Lundgren 没错
Like the guy from Rocky IV?
No, no, a different Dolph Lundgren.
不 不 不是那个Dolph Lundgren
Apparently, if you bring that one up,
this one gets really angry, so don't.
Danny, guys always say they're gonna leave their wives.
They never do.
I'm telling you, she's happy with this Dolph guy,
good for her. Now I wanna be happy.
And the only way I can be happy is if I'm with you!
Just wanna be able to be with you
and not be called a "fornicator"
or an "adulterer" or whatever that
Children of the Corn kid was calling me.
I just need to hear it from her.
How about if she texts you, would that be good?
I need to meet her.
Let's do it.
You want me to be your wife? - Uh...huh.
你想让我做你的妻子? - 没错...
And you couldn't think of another name, other than Devlin?
I practically took a Devlin in my pants when she asked me.
What's her name? I got panicked.
I get nervous around this girl.
You got panicked?
You who invents a fake wife every Friday night?
Yeah. Doesn't that say something
about what I feel about this girl?
Have you ever thought about the time
- that she's actually gonna walk into your office... - Uh...huh.
万一她走进你的办公室... - 嗯... 然后
... and sees that I'm your assistant/receptionist?
So easy. I'm a plastic surgeon,
you will never look like you again.
Snip, snap. Chip, chap. - What are You talking about?
削削磨磨 - 你在说什么鬼话?
I'm kidding. I'll get you a fake mustache.
Oh, my God, you've really, really not thought this through.
哦 天哪 你真的不考虑后果
Will you please just look at some clothes?
Look at that. I don't wear...
I have clothes, by the way.
I do not need to do any of this. I'm fine.
Yes. You have the best clothes that Old Navy sells.
I'm just saying you gotta look like a plastic surgeon's wife.
I want to create the illusion I had a hot first wife.
- You're so... - Not this!
- 你真是太... - 不是你这样的!
Okay, come on, let's go, you asked for it.
好吧 那行 我们走 这是你自找的
Wow! These are... Oh, geez.
哇! 这些是... 哦 天
It's just been a while since I've been in heels, sorry.
Okay, okay. - Oh, gosh.
好好 没事 - 哦 天啊
Get there. Yeah, great.
去那儿 没错 很好
Oh, my God! These are gorgeous!
哦 天哪! 这些真漂亮!
- How much are these? - $1,700.
- 多少钱? - 1700美元
$1,700? What, do you come with them?
1700美元? 什么? 是不是连你一起买下?
My parents' house costs $1,700. No, no.
我爸妈的房子也就值1700元 不 不行
No. What, did Mickey Mantle sign those?
不可能 难道上面有Mickey Mantle(美职棒明星)的亲笔签名么?
Why are they $1,700, they made outta panda?
Walk away. - Yeah. You know What?
走啦 - 没错 要知道
We won't really be needing them anyway.
'Cause I'm actually starting to...
I'm actually starting to feel not so hot. ls it warm in here?
Whoo. I'm not sure I'll be able to make it this evening.
Very good. Okay, you know what? We'll take them.
败给你了 好吧 那行 我们买了
- It's your Christmas bonus. - Oh, really?
就当你的圣诞奖金了 - 哦 真的?
Okay, then I would like them in blue, too.
In case a heel breaks or I just want to cuddle.
- It's beautiful. - You sicken me.
真是太美了 - 你太过分了
Yes, well, that's why we're getting a divorce.
We're getting a divorce because you're greedy, schemy and selfish.
Actually, I think you need to get the matching bag, too.
Yeah, I think I should.
Mmm. Thank you, Laurie. I agree.
好 谢谢你 Laurie 我同意
All the girls are sticking together. Isn't that sweet?
- Mmm... hmm. - She's on your side, what a shock.
嗯... 那是 - 她竟会帮你说话 倒是让我惊讶了
You asked for this. Trust me.
Uh-huh. You asked for this.
Hell, no! No,no,no!
天 不! 不行 不 不!
What do you mean, no?
No? No what?
No hope. Okay? There's only one word for it.
不可救药了 好吧? 我只能用一个词来形容
What is it? - Neglect.
什么词? - 无视
Okay? This is the one word
for the whole thing. Are you the husband?
I'm the soon to be ex-husband.
We're getting a divorce.
Well, you know he's not divorcing you.
嗯 你知道吗 他不是跟你离婚
He's divorcing your head.
True 'dat, Ernesto. Right on the money.
那确实 Ernesto 非常准确
Your hair is so messed up, I don't even...
Let me count the ways.
It's dull, it's dead, it's flat.
又暗沉 又呆板 又单调
Don't forget smelly.
It's smell... It don't smell, particularly...
Okay, I think we got it. - You bad.
好吧 意思很清楚了 - 你个坏蛋
You is bad. Give me a little bit. That's bad, though. You should...
你真坏啊 来击个掌 太坏了真是 你应该...
You guys, come on, seriously. Ernesto, can you just, please
喂你们俩 拜托 严肃点 Ernesto 能否拜托你
do something, so we can be home
I can do... - and I can get Out of here?
我能做... - 早点离开这里?
Hurricane Katrina could do something, baby.
I'm gonna do something transcendent.
Katya! Yuri, Mrs. Hwiggins!
Katya! Yuri, Hwiggins太太!
We going in deep, y'all.
You seem nervous, Danny.
No, no, I just...
不 不 我只是...
It's weird, she gets me very tense.
I'm sorry to put you through this.
No, I understand why we're doing this.
I'm just looking forward to getting past this part of my life
and moving on to the good part.
We will. Soon. Tonight.
我们会的 很快 就今晚
Good God, yes.
Is that her?
I think so.
I love her shoes.
Yeah, well, she got about five pairs of them.
对 嗯 她有五双呢
Maybe she'll give you one.
Do you see Dr. Maccabee anywhere in this...
Oh! There he is.
Keep the car running, shan't be long.
Hey. You went with a limo driver?
I'm just playing the part.
Devlin Maccabee. - Soon to be, single-abee.
你好Maccabee太太 - 马上就能庆祝单身了
Waiter! Excuse me. Anybody?
服务生! 打扰一下 有人吗?
Yes, yes. Something to drink, madam?
有 有 要点喝的吗 女士?
I would like a tall glass of you.
Is that possible? Meow!
I'm just kidding. Unless you're really into it.
Kidding again. No, I'm not.
We don't know. Grey Goose martinis,
just keep 'em coming. Okay. Ooh!
记得一直续酒啊 好吧 哦!
Make That a dirty martini. - okay.
记住 要激情火辣的马提尼 - 好的
Okay? - Good one.
好吗? - 还不错
Well, so, Palmer.
嗯 好的 Palmer
I heard you and Danny had sex.
Yes. I am so sorry, I had...
是的 真对不起 我不...
Please, honey, it is fine. I'm just happy to hear
拜托 亲爱的 没关系的
that his thing-a-ding can still ring-a-ding.
'Cause he's got a serious small issue
with ED. Over here.
What's ED? I don't...
Oh, gosh. I forgot. You're fifteen.
哦 天呐 我忘了 你才十五呢
Erectile dysfunction, my darling.
Think about it as if
you're trying to throw darts and you just...
All you really got, you're shooting with,
like, overcooked spaghetti.
I just think that my spaghetti wasn't loving
the meatballs that was being served.
They were a little too lumpy. - Oh.
因为她们太硌人 - 哦
I've heard from a lot of men that I serve
the finest meatballs in Southern California.
Of course. A lot of homeless men have said this.
- Yes. - They'll eat anything, you know.
对啊 - 他们都饥不择食的 你懂的
I'm just very shocked that you remember
anybody you've ever been with.
With all the pills that are in your system.
She likes the pills, this one.
At night I come home, "What's for dinner?"
"Well, we have purple pills, and the green ones
回答 嗯 我们有紫色和绿色的小药丸"
and some lovely yellow bombers
I just took out of the oven."
I had to do something to amuse myself
while this one sat on the throne for hours
dealing with his irritable bowel syndrome.
I got another disease. Okay.
Can I tell you, I spent the eve of our wedding
sitting on the bed,
listening to what sounded like an underwater symphony,
of French horns and bassoons
coming out of our hotel bathroom.
Mix that with the smell of like a dead cat and some fajitas
and you've got what you call yourself
a severely diminished libido.
Did you just kick me?
No. Did you? You kicked her?
没有 是你吗? 你踢她了?
- Why'd you kick her? - What?
你为什么踢她? - 什么?
Yeah, I don't... I... Yes. I... I have leg spasms.
对 我没... 是... 我... 我腿抽筋了
It's a side effect.
Terrible side effect from all the pill popping.
But, you know, it's all better now.
不过 你知道吗 现在已经好多了
I'm clean and sober and I apologize.
我戒掉了 我很清醒 我道歉
Thirteenth step, right there. Back to drinking.
Oh, Henderson, you thoughtless oaf,
哦 Henderson 你个没眼力的白痴
stop texting, open that door.
Why do You keep calling me Henderson? - Just go with it.
你为什么一直叫我Henderson? - 配合一下吧
Palmer, so lovely to meet you.
I mean, look at you two.
I mean, it's like, Barbie and...
我是说 就像 芭比娃娃和...
I mean... And even though it did not work out
between us at all...
It's like it never happened. You know?
It really isn't.
I still want My Danny to be happy. - Oh, look at that.
我还是想让我的Danny快乐 - 哦 看呐
Happy, happy, happy.
快乐 快乐 快乐
Good night, kiddo. Okay.
晚安 老姐 好的
It's her drug dealer I'm thinking.
Okay, please put her on the phone right now.
Are you kidding me, honey?
You know how I feel about
you selling your brother's stuff on eBay.
Hey, hey, hey. Take that in the car.
嘿 嘿 嘿 到车里接电话
No. It's okay.
I will deal with you when I get home, young lady. Okay.
等我到家再跟你算账 小姐 好吧
I mean, you would think...
You have kids?
You have... You have children?
We have sort of a little bit...
a little bit of children, right?
When were you planning on telling me
about these children, Danny?
I don't know, but listen,
I have to go get to those little munchkins.
Palmer, so nice, seriously.
Palmer 很高兴见面 真的
No, no, no, hey, hey.
不 不 不 嘿 嘿
Are you freaked out right now about all this or...
Actually, just the opposite.
The opposite of freaked out? What do you mean? Good?
跟生气正好相反? 你是什么意思? 是好事?
You know that I love kids.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
对 对 对
I just never pegged you as a kids guy.
I'm a huge kids guy. I love kids.
Kids, kids, kids. Is...
小孩 小孩 小孩 是...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's my thing. That's my bumper sticker.
对 对 对 这是我特点 还是我的车尾贴
What are their names?
What are their names again? There is
the girl who, of course, is Kiki Dee.
女孩 名字呢 当然是 Kiki Dee
And then the boy's name's Bart.
Which of course is short for Barto.
Well, I wanna meet them!
Of course you do.
So our mom doesn't know that you took us today?
You know this is kidnapping.
Is the guy from Dateline NBC gonna walk in?
No! I know you two a long time and Rosa's here.
不! 我认识你们很久了 而且Rosa也在这
Doing whatever that Rosa does.
- God, she's freaky. - Yeah.
天 她太奇怪了 - 对
So here's the deal.
How would you like to be my pretend children
for one afternoon?
Why don't you just tell that poor girl the truth?
Our mother tells us everything.
Wedding ring boy.
- What? - Oh, my goodness!
什么? - 哦 天呐
Did you see Gossip Girl last night? It was so good!
No, she's not like that.
Your mother's presenting her in a weird, weird way.
I'm just saying, telling the truth
is not in the cards right now.
I thought you'd be excited to have an acting job.
If it's an acting job, we should get paid.
Yeah, you're gonna get paid in experience.
I wanna actually get paid.
All right, what do you want?
$600 for the day,
plus overtime if we go over eight hours.
I'll do my own hair and makeup.
And I want you to pay for the six-week intensive acting camp
that my mom can't afford.
$50 for the day and a two-week acting class at the YMCA nearest you.
$500 and a four-week acting class.
$300 and a three-week class.
I would have done it for $500.
I would have done it for the experience.
Michael, you're up. Opener?
Michael 到你了 条件?
I want you to take me to Hawaii
so I can swim with the dolphins.
You're not gonna let that one go, are you?
We're not going to Hawaii, pal. Anything else?
Find someone else then.
Ooh, the Mafia stare down. Very good, Michael.
喔 黑手党的慑人目光 不错嘛 Michael
We're here to negotiate.
Do you have anything else you might like?
I want a flying pony.
I want a flying pony too, Michael, but they don't exist.
我也想要会飞的小马 Michael 但它们不存在
Then I want a regular pony. And I want to name him Nelson.
How about a Playstation 3 and we name him Nelson?
We'll include four video games.
And I want the meeting with blondie to be at J.D. McFunnigan's.
How 'bout Charlie Choo-Choo's
'cause it's right down the street from me.
Mention that slop-hole again and I walk.
All right, take it easy, son. Take it easy.
好吧 放轻松 孩子 放轻松
And I want unlimited tokens.
If I can spend 'em, I wanna have 'em.
I don't wanna be like playing Skee-Ball
and all of a sudden run out of tokens.
All right, I can make that happen.
So do we have a deal?
Deal's off unless you eat that pizza, though. Seriously.
Can I do an accent?
- Let me hear some. - 'Ello!
- 我先听听 - 好吖!
No. - okay.
不行 - 好吧
My kids? Have you completely lost your mind?
Are you kidding me right now?
You're the one who picked up your cell phone.
That is not...
The doctor will see you now.
I can't believe you're doing all of this just so you can get some.
It's just gross. You're just pathetic.
I'm not trying to get some. I already got some.
And yes, I'd like to continue getting some.
I'm pro me getting some.
Have a seat right there, Mrs. Harrington.
Remove your shirt, if you could.
I smell something. You smell something?
I smell perfume.
Is that coming from you?
I... I'm... Maybe.
我... 我... 可能吧
What, you got a date or something?
I don't have a date. I have a lunch.
You got a lunch? Who you got a lunch with?
Dr. Gervitz's office manager, if you must know everything.
His name is Brian.
The guy with the gray soul patch?
You know what?
Hey, man, I'm Brian.
嘿 伙计 我是Brian
Wow, you wanna go to lunch sometime?
Is he gonna take you there right after the big protest?
Hey, man, we gotta stop these squirrels.
嘿 兄弟 咱得制止这些松鼠
He plays bass, don't he?
You can take the brassiere off, too.
And by the way, he does play the bass.
And he writes songs.
What does he write songs about,
how bad his ponytail stinks?
Mrs. Harrington, could you put your hands on your hips, please?
Okay, so, one of the funbags is not having too much fun.
好了 嗯 看起来有个福袋没那么好运哦
All right, what happened anyways?
Well, I hit It with the car door yesterday... - Right.
昨天 我撞到车门... - 嗯
and I heard a pop
and then some sloshing sound when I walk.
Yeah. I think.
What are you doing?
Could be the kids or could be Brian.
Okay. Stop that.
Do you mind just for one second?
Let me just talk to this guy.
- Hello? - Yeah, man!
- 喂? - 嘿 兄弟!
Brian? - You can lie down.
是Brian吗? - 你可以躺下来
Yeah, hi! We sure are.
有空 你好! 当然记得我们有约
Yeah, no, sushi would be groovy.
不会啊 很好 寿司好吃
Okay, I'll see you at 1:00 in the lobby.
What voice was that?
That was my voice.
I didn't sound like that.
You're excited about this guy, huh?
Mrs. Harrington, this is numbing cream for your nipples, okay?
Harrington夫人 这是麻醉你乳头的乳霜 准备好了吗?
Oh. Oh, okay.
噢 噢 好了
It's gonna be one afternoon.
Why are we making such a big deal out of this?
Because you know what? You're trying to get my kids involved
in your dysfunctional, sick little, pathetic, twisted web of lies.
拖进你那非正常 有点病态 可悲 又错综复杂的谎言里
When I was negotiating with your son, Michael,
he had the biggest smile I've ever seen on anyone's face.
When I told him we could do it at J.D. McFunnigan's,
the kid looked like he won the Heisman Trophy,
I'm not kidding you.
I think that's enough. Do you feel that?
够了 别再说了 有感觉吗?
No, but do you feel that?
- No. - We're good.
没有 - 那就搞定
By the way, did you make this?
We'll have to give it to the Smithsonian
when we've clone the operation. Terrific job.
Did he really smile?
Swear to God, like the cutest little smile.
And I got Maggie to eat.
You did? - Yeah.
她肯吃了? - 对
Pizza. Deep dish. Three pieces.
I can't get her to eat anything.
I know you can't. Don't do this for me.
Do it for the children.
- Yeah! - Oh, stop!
- 答应了! - 噢 够了!
Come on, you're late, you're late!
快点 你们迟到了 迟到了!
What are you, in character right away?
Come on, let's go!
What is that?
Did Victoria Beckham have a yard sale? Why are you wearing that?
Are you kidding me?
This is what you bought for me.
I know, I know. I'm just saying is it...
我知道 我知道 我只是说这...
All right, we're stuck with it,
I just think it's a little over the top, but...
Thanks. Happy to be here to help you.
The first rule of improv is always accept the information.
If someone says something, just go with it.
Gotcha. That sounds good, that's smart.
收到 说得真对 很不错
In my acting class, when someone says "no" in a scene,
我上表演课的时候 要是有人在拍戏途中说 "不"
the whole class yells, "Die!"
No. I mean, no one will say "no" then.
不 我是说 等下没有人会说 "不" 的
Don't yell "Die."
Who's up for some warm-up exercises?
- No, honey, I'm not gonna do that. - The what?
别 宝贝 我不会那样做的 - 做什么?
The tip of the tongue, the teeth, the lips.
嘴说腿 腿说嘴 嘴说腿 爱跑腿
I got one for you. Shut up!
All right, let's go already. Are you ready there, Mafia?
好了没 要进去咯 你准备好了吗 老大?
- Hell, yeah. - Let's do it!
- 我靠 早就好了 - 走吧!
Smells like kids' feet and like skidmark underwear.
Mmm. Happy Father's Day.
- Oh! - Jeez!
- 噢! - 天呐!
Mommy! That man put his pee-pee on my face!
- He put his face on my pee-pee. - Danny!
- 是他的脸撞到在我小鸡鸡 - Danny!
- I'm saying he's the one. - I don't think it matters.
我在澄清他才是凶手 - 这不是重点
No, I get you.
Oh, oh! Palmer, darling.
噢 嗨! Palmer 亲爱的
Devlin. Thank you so much for bringing the kids today.
I don't think she was the only one who brought them.
You know what I'm saying? They are my pride and joy.
So I'd like to introduce you to, the one and only,
Kiki Dee, who came out at nine pounds four ounces.
Kiki Dee 出生时9磅5盎司重
And then the whopper, we call him, Bart,
because he was a 12-pounder and did some damage.
Hi, you guys.
Heard so much about you.
So you're the bird what's been given Daddy the ol' slap and tickle?
We sent her to boarding school last year in England.
See? So she picked up a slight accent.
It's, you know, very Madonna.
就是 你知道 很麦当娜风格
Well, it is a pleasure meeting you, Kiki Dee.
Kiki Dee 认识你很高兴
Wish I could say the same.
You see, before you, I had meself a father.
是这样的 在您出现之前 我有爸爸
I was the apple of his eye.
It was all giggling and chasing butterflies
in the meadows, and what have you.
And now what do I got?
An hour and a half every other week
at J.D. McFunnigan's with him and his whore.
- Koko! Kiki! - Kiki!
- 嘿 Koko! Kiki! - Kiki!
God, she's in such pain.
No, that's the pills that...
she took some out of her mother's bureau.
All right, let me go see her.
How are you doing, sweetie?
I'll be better when I start seeing some tokens.
Excuse me. Yo! What was that all about?
等下 嘿! 你刚才是在演哪出?
That was raw and real and in the moment.
You know, I feel very good about it.
You do? Well, I don't!
So if you wanna get your money and your acting classes,
you better start doing things right from now on.
No more sob stories.
And we're stuck with the English accent now, Ringo,
so commit to it. Don't choke, got it?
别改了 顺溜点 明白没?
Now hug me and laugh
and let's get back into the show.
You're not a whore, Palmer.
That's so nice. See what they do, they fight,
多温馨啊 你看他们 虽然吵架了
then they make up and it's good.
Good. We're doing good.
Are you kidding me?
Got a hamburger here for Bart, art the water fart.
Here you go, Kid.
Look at that, sweet!
And two quesadillas for Kiki Sneaky with a side of freaky.
Here's the waters. No soda for you.
- You're battling diabetes, remember? - Huh?
还记得你有糖尿病吧? - 啊?
I got you two quesadillas 'cause it's your favorite food so you have to eat it.
Well, yes! And that's why I'm going to eat every single bit of it.
那 当然! 就是最爱吃我才要一口一口细细品尝
All right, let's see.
Hey, I think we forgot napkins.
We did? Okay. Well, let me get the napkins.
是吗? 没事 我去拿
Because I know she's not gonna get up and do it
because she doesn't like to get up and do anything.
Everybody be cool.
So, Bart, your dad tells me you like to go to the bathroom.
When I feel it, I do it.
What else do you like?
I don't know.
That's our Bart.
He's a man of very few words.
Maybe I'm upset.
Upset about me and your father dating?
No. You seem to make my dad happy and that's cool, but...
不是 你能让我爸快乐我也快乐 只是...
Hey, I want you to feel comfortable
telling me anything.
Well, I just hate that he broke his promise to me.
Yeah, what promise?
He promised me last year that he would take me to Hawaii
to swim with the dolphins.
They have this lagoon there with dolphins
and people get to swim with them.
What are you doing?
But without warning, my dad canceled the trip.
Why would he do that?
He met you.
- No! - Die!
- 不是啊! - 去死!
No, no, no, no, no, no! I'm saying that did not...
不是啊 不不不不不! 我是在说那不是...
You misread what I said.
I said we have to go to Hawaii earlier.
Because I'm excited for all of us to hang out there.
We're going to Hawaii!
I can't believe I let a six-year-old blackmail me.
I saw my shot and I took it.
You're angry at yourself
'cause you got us into this whole situation.
I did? - You really did.
我自作孽? - 当然
I think old Mary Poppins with the,
You can't say no. You can't say no, Guv'nor.
你不可以说不 你不可以说不 大人
Okay, listen, my tolerance
for these continued shenanigans is right here.
And if it gets up to here, I'm taking my kids,
I'm selling you out and I'm going home.
I am so happy we are doing this, Danny.
Are you kidding me? We're going to Hawaii,
开什么玩笑? 当然高兴 一起去夏威夷啊
we're gonna swim with dolphins.
It's gonna be so much fun. I was just telling the squirt.
And Seventeen magazine.
You brought that for these guys or is that for you?
It's mine. it's my favorite.
See that? Did you ever read that magazine?
Thirty years ago you did.
And hopefully we're gonna have time together, right, sweetie?
希望到那儿以后我们能过过二人世界 对吧 宝贝?
Muffinstein, I could not stand to be without you.
大美女 你不在我身边 让我度日如年
Is this him?
I see the Colonel Von generous right here in front of me.
Okay, I'm confused right now.
I'm so sorry. I've not introduced myself,
we have talked on the phone, but I am the Dolph Lundgren.
我们之前通过电话 我就是Dolph Lundgren
Devlin's man-friend/love monkey.
Oh, kill me now.
Devlin said you had to stay back and work.
I did. - she What said?
我是这么说过 - 她怎么说的?
Nein, nein to the work.
I will work when I am kaput.
You know, I think this is so great
of all of you, so mature.
I would have loved if my parents had done something like this
when they got divorced.
That's why I was thinking we should have the man come.
Yeah, I'm glad. I'm glad.
真的 我好高兴 我好高兴
It's important for the children
to see us as a unit.
And also I cannot stay away from this potato pancake.
She loves the schnitzel, you know what I mean?
You know what? Tongue feels a little dry.
Let's go get you some water, honey. We'll be back.
去帮你找点水吧 宝贝 我们等下回来
That's a big tongue, big tongue.
Get over here, get over here. Ew!
给我过来 给我过来 呕!
What are you doing here?
I don't know, saving the day. Helping. Hello?
不知道 来帮手 来帮忙 是吗?
Who are you talking to? What are you looking at?
I can't see in these things.
This is what you're gonna do.
You're gonna tell them that you ate a bad sauerkraut omelet for breakfast
and that you are feeling like you're sick and that you gotta go.
- Katherine, I can't go. Okay? - Why?
Katherine 我不能走 行吗? - 为什么?
Because I texted a picture of my new equipment to my ex-girlfriend.
Oh, you're disgusting.
And I forgot she's engaged to a UFC fighter.
He wants to punch me in the face.
I wanna punch you in the face.
Hey, guys, how we doing?
嘿 大伙 可以走了吗?
I am just waiting for the money for the ticket.
Mmm-hmm. So you are coming? And I am paying?
嗯哼 你来玩? 我付钱?
Yes. Dolph has zero dollars.
- Whoops! - Okay.
- 哦 惭愧! - 行
Let me see if I can find my credit card.
Oh, here it is.
That's for sleeping with my wife, Pal.
# Do you wanna...#
# 你是否想... #
# Trip to Hawii, Hawii #
# 夏威夷之旅 哦 夏威夷 #
# Straight to Hawii #
# 一路直向 夏威夷岛 #
# Do you wanna come along with me? #
# 你是否想 与我随行? #
There you go. Thank you.
Didn't have time to make any reservations,
but I need two rooms, please.
Oh, of course.
Unfortunately, we only have our suites left.
The Waldorf Astoria at $8,000 per night
and the Presidential at $12,000.
- $12,000 a night? - Mmm-hmm.
- 12000元一晚? - 嗯哼
Do the Rolling Stones come and play for me while I'm in there?
What the hell are you talking about? Why is it so much?
Is it made out of panda?
I've used that somewhere else, but is it?
No, but you've made some terrific suggestions
and I'm gonna jot them down.
Are you a member of the Hilton Honors Rewards program?
No, I'm not.
Oh. That's too bad. You should join.
哦 太遗憾了 您应该加入的
Just got reamed. I mean, I got the rooms.
被榨干了 我是说 订到房间了
Who wants to go to the beach?
- Me! - Me!
- 我! - 我!
Who wants to start drinking?
- Me! - Me!
- 我! - Me!
# I wanna love you #
# 我想爱你 #
# And it's too right #
# 再想不过 #
# I wanna love you #
# 我想爱你 #
I would create a fake family for that. Oh, my God!
换我也会为了那尤物弄出个家庭 哦 我的天!
You know what? You're disgusting.
Mumsy, please do come in.
The water's as lovely as Westminster in May.
No, honey, I'm good.
不了 亲爱的 我很好
I don't really feel like swimming right now.
What is this from, my Liebchen?
Don't you be intimidated by her whole thing right there,
which is perfect.
Oh, come on. Like she's intimidated.
哦 别这样说 好像她真的被吓住了似的
I hope when I'm her age I look that good.
You can look that good
if you don't take the elevators
and only take the stairs like Cary Grant.
Take the stairs. Take the stairs.
Hey, why are we stopped here?
Uh, what's the matter?
I can't look at engagement rings?
Engagement rings? - Yeah, You heard me.
订婚戒指? - 是啊 你听到的
Look all you want, but you and I both know that
you're gonna get sick of this hottie
and you're gonna be back on the prowl next week.
Nope. I'm telling you, is this girl not cute?
不 听我说 这女孩不可爱吗?
Yeah, she's really cute.
Is she not the sweetest?
The nicest person I've ever met.
Did you ever see her lips?
I think she has the best lips I've ever seen.
They're like an inner tube and I just wanna sit on it.
You know what I mean? And just, like...
Do you want me to knock you out, or...
No, I'm saying you should sit on her lips.
you know, this whole situation reminds me of a song.
# Danny is a big plastic surgeon #
# Danny是个牛X的整形医生 #
# Who never had time for a wife #
# 从来都没时间陪她的内人 #
# And he's friends with Davy who's still in the Navy #
# 他和还在海军服役的Davy是好哥们 #
Piano Man? Why Piano Man?
No, it's "Piano Dan."
That's based on your life. it's a little Eddie remix.
# Eddie used to have an afro and pimples all over his face #
# Eddie曾是爆炸头 脸上全是痘 #
# So he popped and he poked 'em and Clearasil soaked 'em #
# 所以他挤 他扣 他用克丽莱斯粉刺霜洗头 #
# But ladies still greet him with mace #
# 但是女人们 还是用防狼器喷他个混球 #
I was maced one time.
So, guys, we're here to get to know each other better.
Yes. - Yeah.
是啊 - 嗯
Dolph, let's start with you.
So, what line of work are you in?
Well, Palmer, I am in sheep.
哦 Palmer 我做绵羊生意的
I'm sorry. I don't know what you mean.
I am a sheep shipper.
You know, people, they don't buy the sheep
你知道的 人们 现在不再
from the local sheepherder anymore.
Really? They don't?
No, they don't. They go online!
嗯 不直接买 他们上网买!
Yes! They go on the Interweb,
to my website, gotprettysheep.com.
And leave this, please. Thank you.
Now, people go on. They see the pictures of the sheep,
现在 人们登上去以后 他们浏览绵羊的图片
and they pick the ones they want.
You know, it's like, "I want that one."
你知道 比方说 "我要那只"
You know, it's very stylish. You know, it's a stylish one.
它太有型了 知道吗 它真是太有型了
Goes, "Oh, no, I want the shy one who doesn't want to baa."
还有 "哦 不 我要那只 不敢咩咩叫的害羞羊"
Or they buy the sassy one,
who's like, "Hey, I see you, baa, baa."
那种就是 "嘿 我看见你了 咩 咩"
So, what do the people do with these sheep?
Whatever they want! You see, sky is the limit.
You know, some have them as pets.
Some have them as security for the house.
A lot of the people...
the new thing is training them
to fight each other in the Sheep Fight Club.
Sheep Fight Clubs?
Yes. All the sheeps, they get together.
是的 所有的羊 聚在一起
They baa, all you hear is, "Baa, baa, baa."
它们咩咩叫 你能听到的就是 "咩 咩 咩"
And then you see hoof, kick, hoof, kick,
然后你就看到蹄子 踢 蹄子 踢
hoof, kick, baa, baa, baa, baa, baa!
蹄子 踢 咩 咩 咩 咩 咩!
And then he's out.
And that is how we met. She bought a sheep from me.
Children? Okay, tune out.
孩子们? 好吧 把耳朵堵起来
Okay, 'cause some secrets are coming out, all right? Some adult ones.
好了 因为我要爆些秘密出来了 好吗? 少儿不宜哟
She likes to shave the sheep
for the pelt for the sex, sexuals, yes.
出于生理需要 性需求 是的
She has got a real fetish
for the wool and stuff, you know.
We do this thing called "sheepstenein."
Danny? Would you come with me, please?
So, we're gonna leave right now.
So you guys play that game that we always love to play,
Nobody Talk Game.
And start now.
- I'm sorry, we're leaving. I can't do it. - No.
对不起 我们得走了 我做不到 - 不行
I'm gonna kill that guy. He's lost it.
He was going sheep-crazy, I'll give you that.
Where is your hand right now?
You wanna see where it is?
It's not even here anymore! It's gone!
How about I beat him up?
You can beat him up with me. It'll be fun.
I don't want to! I have to go.
- Don't bail on me right now! - Don't make that face at me.
- 不要现在丢下我一个人好吗! - 别对我摆那副臭脸
I cannot stand that face.
Oh, my God, Devlin Adams.
哦 我的天 Devlin Adams
Devlin? Devlin as in taking a...
Taking? From what I see...
it's my favorite college Devlin!
Both of us here at this resort at the same time.
I didn't know you came to places like this.
Here we go.
Honey, I want you to meet someone.
This is one of my best friends from my sorority.
Katherine, this is my husband, Ian Maxtone Jones.
Katherine 这是我的丈夫 Ian Maxtone Jones
You might've heard of him. He invented the iPod.
Well, of course he did. The iPod.
哦 是他发明的 iPod
The idea just came to me in the shower.
A shower that I was taking with Devlin.
So, this is a cabana you guys got yourselves here, huh?
那么 这帐篷屋是你们自己搭的 啊?
Because my skin is so white. I don't like to get it burned.
Even at night?
Well, in Hawaii, you never know with the sun.
哦 在夏威夷 你不了解这的阳光
Very, very strong.
So you mean like a moonburn or...
You look fantastic. - Oh...
你看起来好极了 - 哦...
You look great.
I'm so glad you got your teeth fixed. Much better.
You are just the same glorious Devlin that I remember.
Oh, my God, I ran into Sandra Wernick last month.
哦 我的天 我上个月偶然碰到Sandra Wernick了
The poor thing. She's already divorced and she has a child.
She's a single mother. It's a disaster.
I feel so bad for her.
Are you married?
Oh! I've neglected to introduce you to Danny,
Daniel Leroy Maccabee III, my husband.
Daniel Leroy Maccabee三世 我的丈夫
Yes. If you want me to stay,
will you just go with it, honey?
Come here and please meet Devlin and Ian.
Hey. - This is Daniel.
嘿 - 这是Daniel
IPod, what's up? How are you?
IPod哥 是吗? 你好吗?
Invented it. - Pleasure. I heard.
是他发明的 - 见到你很高兴 我听说了
Devlin, I think I spoke about you with my wife
in the bathroom one or two times, right?
We did it twice, yes.
So, chief, tell me, what do you do for a living?
好吧 告诉我 你是做什么的吧?
I'm also an inventor, just like you.
I invented the barking hand.
I got you. But you're sunburned?
No. - What?
不 - 什么?
You are a surgeon.
He's a plastic surgeon, and he's one of the best
according to Los Angeles Magazine.
Yes. Well, that, yeah.
嗯 哦 是啊
Touched it down.
We gotta go back. We have to run. It was great to see you.
我们得回去了 来不及了 见到你们很开心
We have to get back to our kids. So...
You have kids?
Mmm-hmm. Yeah, two, actually.
嗯哼 是啊 有两个 事实上
We couldn't wait to start creating lives.
And by the way, I created these children
in the shower. Right?
- You did. - You know what I'm saying, homeboy?
是啊 - 你知道我在说什么吧 帅哥?
That is funny.
Wow, you've been together a long time.
Am I gonna leave this girl? Look at her.
Still gets the flag up the pole,
if you know what I mean.
Bing-bang. An iRod, I should say.
Oh. Come on, hit that. Why'd you leave me hanging so long?
哦 快点 击一个 为什么让我伸那么久?
That's so silly.
The four of us should get together
and have dinner one night.
Oh! That would be almost like a dream of mine.
If we could ever get ourselves out of the bedroom.
Katherine Murphy, look at you!
Katherine Murphy 瞧你说的!
Oh, no, not Murphy anymore. Leroy Maccabee.
哦 不 别再叫我Murphy咯 叫我Leroy Maccabee
The third. Anyway, so it was great to see you and meet you, Ian.
三世 总之 见到你们很高兴 Ian
The big E. Love the Shuffle, by the way.
- Good to meet you. Bye! - Thanks. You, too!
- 见到你们很高兴 再见! - 谢谢 我们也是!
What are you talking about? She was nice.
- I'm gonna kill you. - Come on. You need me, though, right?
我会杀了你的 - 别这样 你还需要我 对吧?
I don't believe that just happened.
I like that you need me. How's that make you feel?
Please, it feels like a oar door just slowly shut on my soul.
Come here!Listen. - What?
转过来!听着 - 干吗?
Do you know how I feel right now?
You were getting me so upset,
bringing me into that web of lies.
My hand's right here right now.
Oh, my hand's right there.
You know what? I hate you right now.
I've gotta write out a bunch of index cards
just to keep up with these lies.
Yeah, and you're gonna make me copies, too. And one more thing.
好啊 麻烦你帮我也搞一份 还有件事
Oh, my God, why are we leaving the hotel right now?
哦 我的天 干吗现在就离开酒店啊?
Why did you wake me up?
I signed us up for the all-day adventure tour.
We're gonna go hiking in the rainforest, and kayaking down rivers
and swimming under waterfalls.
Swimming. I hope you mean skinny-dipping.
I'm gonna suggest swimming.
I, however, am fine with some man nudity, Danny.
我 还是可以接受男人裸体的 Danny
Okay, so Swiss Family nightmare is coming with us.
That's so we can bond?
Oh, that'll be great!
It's bloody breathtaking out here!
Is this where the blue Avatar people live?
Yeah, the blue Avatar people and I think that black pig.
是啊 有蓝色的阿凡达人 我想还有那只黑猪
Where? - the pig.
在哪? - 小猪猪
Look, how cute. Looks like Babe.
看呐 多可爱 就像个小孩似的
Oh, my God! Go, Go!
哦 我的天! 跑 快跑!
Come on, go, go!
快点 跑 快跑!
The pig is eating my body!
Keep your eyes on the river, sweetheart.
Yes. I was looking at the canyon.
Hey, what're you guys doing?
That bridge can only handle one person at a time!
Go, go, go!
走 快走 快走!
What'd he say? What'd you say?
Holy Devlin! Ow!
Come on, let's go.
Piggyback times are magical times, aren't they?
Yeah, aren't they? You're warping my spine now.
是啊 可不是吗? 我的脊椎都要断了
I think Kiki slipped.
Oh, Father, I just love spending time with you!
哦 老爸 我真是太喜欢和你在一起了!
Oh, my God!
You guys, look at this!
- Oh, my God! - It's lovely!
- 哦 我的天! - 真是太美了!
Wow! That is unbelievable.
I don't know about you guys, but I am gonna go cool off.
Really? There could be black pigs in there.
Look at that. That's terrific.
Does the hotel know you took those pillows, honey?
She really wears that bikini well.
You know what she'd wear well? Dental floss and a pirate hat.